Listen, I know. I know I've been AWOL for almost three months. I know that this blog has been sitting here like some kind of abandoned school house, walls lined with spider webs and crow's nests. I get it. You don't have to remind me.
What I can say in my defense is that I...
A.) Moved from New York City to Columbus, Ohio. That's right, I'm back in the Midwest. You know how hard that was? I drove ten goddamn hours with all of my belongings. Ten. Hours. That's brutal, especially when all of your music is packed and you're forced to listen to talk radio for the duration. I hit a part of Pennsylvania where Rush Limbaugh was on three different stations. THREE DIFFERENT STATIONS. Listening to Rush Limbaugh is like having a ten year old drop kick your family jewels with his Little League spikes. It starts off painful but eventually becomes excrutiating and you are forced to fall down and drool mindlessly for an hour afterwards. Anyways. Yeah. All my shit, in an enlarged minivan. It sucked.
B.) I had to get a job. I got a job! That's right. When you move away from a city while you're living on unemployment, you really want to find a real job when you reach your destination. So now I have a job. I won't really be talking about that job here, just know that I'm gainfully employed and that I have been absent from the blogosphere because I have REAL PAID WORK TO DO.
C.) I had to find an apartment. I got an apartment! It's so fucking cheap it's not even fair. You people in New York are suckers. The amount I'm paying now for a one bedroom apartment is what I paid to live with three dudes in New York. Suckers, the lot of ya.
So yeah, get off my ass about this stuff, I needed to get my ducks in a row.
Now.
The Reds.
Has there been a more disappointing team in baseball this year? They are inconsistent, their manager (Dusty Baker) can't ever seem to decide which lineup to throw out there and we're on the VERGE OF GETTING SWEPT BY THE PIRATES.
Can I just say that the resurgence of the Pirates is, for the most part, a fluke? The NL Central is the weakest division in baseball, hands down. No one in this division has a chance to win the World Series. Not one. Not the Cardinals, not the Brewers. Zip. Zilch. Zero.
The Reds could have still have a shot to take the division if they make a trade or two, but it's hard to really say if that will be the solution. For Ubaldo Jiminez save this team and this season? Will Ryan Ludwick be the spark that starts the blaze? Probably not. They need a real left fielder, not some weird circle of idiots. Heisey is the closest thing they've got to legitimacy out there, but hilariously he's a better pinch hitter than a starter.
The only hopeful things to take out of this season so far are the rise of Zach Cozart and the resurgence of Dontrelle Willis. One could only hope that this is the beginning of a new career for Willis, who absolutely deserves only the best that life has to offer.
Anyways, let's move on to other things. Such as...
THE NFL LOCKOUT!!!
I haven't really followed this too closely. When rich people get in a tizzy with one another I tend to look the other way. My only hope is that Roger Goodell get's pancake blocked by someone. Can we make that happen? I mean, that greedy fucktard deserves to be hospitalized. Someone get Jeff Saturday on the phone.
THE NBA LOCKOUT!!!
Again, do not really care. Just find a way to play the games, assholes. As a quick aside:
Was there anything more satisfying than watching LeBron James lose in the NBA Finals? Fuck you, LeBron, fuck you with a hot iron. I hope he gets in a car accident and never plays again.
What else.
Christ, I don't know. Hockey? It's the off season. Whaddya want me to say? Women's World Cup? The US women had their chance and pulled a Mama Cass. Golf? Nascar? I don't care about those two sports.
Ben Wills is getting married! Hopefully he'll have something to say about that soon.
I'll really try to keep up with this on a regular basis, but honestly, if you want updates, email me and I'll make you an administrator. Then you can write your own articles!!!
Onward.
-Terrence Adams
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