TEXT WARS VOLUME ONE: BEN WILLS VS. TERRENCE ADAMS

Myself and Ben Wills do not live in the same state.  This has not stopped us from waging a text war against one another that is filled with utter sports-related vitriol.  This is the first installment in what will surely be a long running series entitled...well...just look above, doofus. 

The following exchange occurred on Tuesday, July 20th, 2010.  It is offensive, so if you don't like offensive things, cover your eyes.  Onto the good times:

(Out of the blue)

Ben: I'll trade you my Sid Bream and Tom Pagnozzi for your Kelly Gruber and Bob Walk.

Terrence: Throw in your Anthony Peeler Lakers jersey and it's a deal.

Ben: I was considering a Loy Vaught or Mark Eaton signed picture.

Terrence: fag.

Ben: Don't be so hard on yourself.

Terrence: I'm trying not to be but this picture of Terry Pendleton's balls I'm looking at is getting me all worked up.

Ben: He strikes me as the type that would have good, wholesome, quality pubes.

Terrence: Like looking at a well groomed persian cat.

(After watching Randy Winn hit a homerun against the Phillies)

Terrence: Do me a favor and drive down to St. Louis and put a bat through Randy Winn's kneecap.

Ben: Or I could go have some drinks with their pitching staff.

Terrence: Ryan Franklin loves body shots.

Terrence: He really loves doing them off of La Russa's ass crack.

And there you have it, Text Wars Volume One.  More soon. 

Earmuffs.

Onward. 

- Terrence Adams